International Socialists

From the "You couldn't make this up" column:

The New Internationalist reported in its October 2001 issue that anti-WTO activists delivered a spoof lecture to an enthusiastic crowd of scientists, engineers and marketing professionals - all of whom thought they were watching an official World Trade Organisation representative.

 

The 150 experts at the "Textiles of the Future" conference in Tampere, Finland, heard "Hank Hardy Unruh" explain that Gandhi's self-sufficiency movement was protectionist and stupid, and that Abraham Lincoln, by outlawing slavery, had criminally interfered with the trade freedom of the South, as well as with slavery's own freedom to develop naturally. Had slavery never been abolished, Unruh said, today's much cheaper system of sweatshops would have eventually replaced it anyway.

 

Finally, to applause from the audience, Unruh's business suit was ripped off to reveal a golden leotard with a three foot long phallus.

 

The purpose of his "Management Leisure Suit"? To allow managers, no matter where they were, to monitor their distant, impoverished workforces and to administer electric shocks to encourage productivity - assuring that no "Gandhi-type situation" could develop again.

 

"If a group of PhDs cheers at such crudely crazy things, just because it's the WTO saying them, what else can the WTO get away with?" said Andy Bichlbaum of the Yes Men, the imposters' umbrella group.

 

 

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Does this make me look less bald?

MPs want changes made to Parliament's rules on TV coverage to take viewers' eyes off their bald spots.

 

Parliament's standing orders committee is considering banning TV cameras from the galleries and instead installing its own equipment.

 

ACT leader Richard Prebble told the committee that camera angles from galleries overlooking the debating chamber were unflattering to male MPs. "Instead of us all being shown going bald, you should have them [the cameras] lower," he said.

 

Prebble's suggestion drew no objections from the cross-party, all male standing orders committee. Speaker Jonathan Hunt said there would also be benefits for women MPs who needed dyed hair touched up at the roots. He had letters from TV viewers asking him to tell two MPs they needed touch-ups, but he had not had the confidence to tell them.

(Dominion 2/11/01)

 

 

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Socialist Review Notes

The last two decades have not been kind to Left and progressive movements. The combined New Right attacks of Labour and National on workers, Mäori, women and the unemployment have damaged the socialist groups in Aotearoa and left them, by and large, in defensive positions. But, with the recent rise in class struggle and the spread of the anti-globalisation movement internationally, our chances and fortunes are beginning to change.

 

We in the International Socialists see nothing to be gained from pretending to be other than what we are: a very, very small group struggling to grow and to find a wider audience for our ideas. But we're proud of the improvements that we've managed with Socialist Review, both in its quality and in its circulation. Our last issue managed to achieve a circulation of around 260. Although a growing number of these sales come from subscriptions, the vast bulk of our circulation comes from street sales; members of the group setting up stalls and talking with workers and students.

 

In addition to their regular stalls in town, the Dunedin branch of the ISO has - at the suggestion of our comrade Colin Heath - started regular factory gate sales. We have targetted Fisher and Paykel out at Mosgiel, Cadbury's and the public hospital in town, going to these factories before dawn to catch workers going in for their shifts. 16 copies of the magazine have been sold at Fisher and Paykel, as well as a similar number at Cadbury's and the Hospital over several occasions.

 

In Palmerston North a comrade managed to sell 20 copies of the magazine in one session - at a Brunettes' gig! Copies of the magazine have also become available in Auckland, Christchurch and Invercargill.

 

Socialist Review has also been useful in adding an anti-imperialist, anti-capitalist dimension to the struggle against America's war. In the seven days following 11 September we managed to sell 160 copies of the speical supplement we rushed out Don't Turn Tragedy Into War in the Dunedin area alone. At Wellington anti-war rallies one of members sold several copies.

 

But, more than ever, Socialist Review needs to become YOUR magazine. Send us reports of struggles in your workplace or campus, letters arguing against something in this issue you disagreed with, comments and notices. If you'd like bundles of the magazine to try and sell at your work, contact PO Box 6157, Dunedin North.