International Socialists

Sexism in personal lives and relationships, particularly between women and men is often a difficult topic to talk about, even for socialists. We feel our private lives are the only area of our lives that we can control, but this is an illusion deliberately fostered by capitalists. This talk looks at practical issues which all socialists should be aware of in our fight against sexism.

 Summary of ‘An Anti-Sexism Manifesto: The Rights of Women and the Responsibilities of Socialist Men’ by Sandra Bloodworth:

Delivered as a branch meeting talk on 14/05/09

Sexism in personal lives and relationships, particularly between women and men is often a difficult topic to talk about, even for socialists. We feel our private lives are the only area of our lives that we can control, but this is an illusion deliberately fostered by capitalists. 
Men tend to dominate social situations - both men and women take men more seriously, listen to their contributions to conversations more than to those of women and women introduce the topic of conversation less often than men. These inequalities continue in their personal relationships. The reality of gender stereotypes is maintained and reproduced by the ideology and experience of the family, and the ideal of the family structure maintains the oppression of women. The gender roles associated with the capitalist family – strong, aggressive male and nurturing, passive female – pervade all of society through the education system, the mass media, entertainment and so on. No individual can escape them, even if they do not live in the so-called ‘nuclear family’, and whether they marry and have children or not.



The starting point to understand the rights of women and the responsibilities of socialist men is a clear recognition that all heterosexual couples enter their relationships on an unequal basis. And that cannot be changed when capitalism exists. However, that is not to say that we are the victims of the structures we live in, and that our behaviour is programmed. We can modify our behaviour if we have a clear political understanding of the influence of capitalism’s ideas and the structures that back them up and are renewed. Socialists do not passively accept that workers will always submit to their bosses’ authority, or will automatically adopt racist or other divisive ideas, which divide skilled from unskilled, white collar from blue collar, for example. We fight these ideas vigorously wherever we can. It’s the same with sexism. However, understanding political arguments about the structure of society, the obvious discrimination women experience, and the socialisation that reinforces the gender stereotypes is only the first step when raising our consciousness about so-called ‘private lives’.
Men are socialised to believe and expect that their ideas, desires and needs will be paramount. They are encouraged to see themselves as the dominant actor in everything, especially sexual relationships. On the other hand, women are socialised to defer to those around them, to be more sensitive to others’ needs and demands. They are encouraged to think of their role in a heterosexual relationship as one of pleasing the man, not getting pleasure for themselves. If they are assertive and demanding, they can be dismissed as over-bearing or nagging. The experience of this in social situations can remind them that if they are not nurturing, caring about everyone else’s problems and needs, submissive, if they’re assertive, have strong opinions and express them forthrightly, they will be thought of as odd at best, but more like downright annoying and domineering.



For socialist men to have relationships that are not blatantly sexist, they must integrate an understanding of the structural and social reasons why these ideas are so dominant. But they must also consciously understand how this socialisation affects their own behaviour and a woman’s response, as well as consciously struggle to recognise sexist responses by themselves. It is quite common in socialist organisations that women who step up to take leadership roles, who assert themselves and take responsibility for winning arguments about what needs to be done, come up against this kind of sexist response. It is rare for a man to be accused of being too aggressive, whereas women are often discouraged from taking on leadership roles precisely because they encounter such response. This undermines a woman’s idea of her own self worth: she’s socialised to feel she has failed if she can’t live up to the stereotype of being sensitive and submissive. If in social situations women realise they are not treated with respect, then the formal settings seem to have no commitment to building an organisation in which women can take their places as individuals who are respected for their contribution and judged by the political arguments they make, rather than how well they measure up as a female.



It is noted that men should not treat the organisation as equivalent to a pick-up joint. If a man propositions a woman who comes to meetings, or arranging to socialise with her during political events, it is clear that he is not relating her as a political person with a contribution to make. Rather, it indicates that he think of her as a sex object. If the woman feels uncomfortable with the person who asks, it is unlikely she will feel comfortable to come to events again if this has been her first contact with the organisation. But if she is conscious about sexism, she will most likely assume that the group tolerates sexist behaviours from male members and reject the organisation out of hand.



Most of the issues here are not open to the everyday scrutiny of a political organisation. We don’t want to know every part of a person’s life. Nevertheless, failure to treat these issues seriously and to integrate them into our political views can be nothing but destructive. It undermines the confidence of individual women if they experience open, unthinking sexism from other members and it eats at the heart of the organisation’s integrity. Bad behaviour of any kind, but particularly sexism, should be challenged when it occurs. 



Women have a role to play in creating this culture. Women are not just passive victims of men’s sexist behaviour. Women can find the strength to resist. Those in a situation where they have more economic independence and options are likely to be more confident. So the attitudes and traditions that dominate the life of a political organisation can play a role in giving women the self-confidence to stand up to men and take control of their own lives as far as possible. Anti-sexist attitudes and actions must be an integral part of the culture of the organisation so that men can be challenged openly when they fall into sexist behaviour and so that women are confident to demand respect and their rights. This is not an abstract question, but one of vital importance to anyone who wants to be a socialist and participate in building a serious revolutionary organisation.

Hayley Ayto